Make it happen....

MAKE IT HAPPEN - U CAN DO IT IF U PUT UR MIND TO IT..

That is my motto for today... U know what? I got a problem when handling small and fragile things such as syringe, vials... 10 ml volumetric cylinder... drug in small volume... etc..

so today i put my thoughts into 1 place and try to tackle the drug preparation which involve very small volume so that I can generate good data after the HPLC machine finish its analysis.. So far my performance was very very bad that my bos kept on giving me ????? mark faces.. haha what a way to deal wit subordinates... Anyway I understand her. She is pregnant now but her enthusiasm was marvelous.. She expect results everyday.. so far we are not going anyway yet.. in other words not much improvement... As for today I was trying to tackle 2 things.. better standard or drug preparation with good concentration and forsee the flow of the hplc mobile phase.. hope something new turns up..

yesterday work was a disaster.. haha I'm unable to concentrate. Then there was a new postdoc attach to our department. We were told that he's an expert in hplc.. but then he want to learn from me.. What a shock!!! so after some explaining.. I'm exsausted can't focus on the rest or the job.. resulting disaster and got a scold from my supervisor today.. what a day.... sometimes its easy to give excuse and blame other people.. but now I'm learning to cope with surrounding.. Its hard but its a good learning for a better tomorrow right...

I wish I am a better person, can handle people gracefully and cheerfully... But it doesn't work that way... I enjoy being on my own.. as long as I got something to do..I will not bored... I can't tolerate crowds in long hours... haha so hplc is the best project that I ever had.. no sneezing.. no need to talk.. can be on ur own for long hours.. haha I don't know.. Sometimes there are so many things in my head but I don't have anybody to talk to except my dear friend here.. Suk Peng.. with my hubby I have to choose certain topics or else it will end up I'm talking with myself and his nodding all the time or worst involve misunderstanding.. what a life..

I'm stress coz less income.. less friends.. less social life.. less exercise actually... Life in Kelantan is a bit slow and nothing much... Its not that I'm bored.. No.. its just that there is a void in myself that keep on getting bigger day by day... I'm more sensitive.. become more quiet.. more to myself.. i love my hubby dearly.. But in the same time i'm losing my self... hope the void will be fill soon or I don't know.. Hope for a better tomorrow...